Is using a dating site weird
I moved to New York less than two years ago and have been trying to expand my circle as I build roots in the city.As a very extroverted person, I believe the more people around, the merrier (and richer) life is.So I filled out my profiles honestly, noting in each I was not looking to date, "only make friends :)." This practice got trickier on more information-intensive apps—I literally responded to Coffee Meets Bagel's "I like it when my date…" query with a "doesn't want to date me. But Laurie Davis, author of and an online dating consultant, later told me that strategy was all wrong: Being direct was the kiss of death."If you're looking for friends, I would just not write anything about that until the very end if they ask you a question about it," she said. "On OKCupid, they ask you 'you should message me if…' and I would say something really casual there like, 'You think having a drink would be fun.' Use words like 'fun,' which is an indicator of more for social than anything else." She didn't have a lot of faith in my whole friend-getting scheme, really.I began my experiment in mid-August, downloading Tinder, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel.I was familiar with the apps beforehand: I used them for a month in summer 2013 when they were new and the It Thing among my friends, the source of all our war stories.I associated more with her: She had zero chance with me romantically because of my sexual orientation, and I'd feel unethically deceptive talking with her even though I wrote "straight" in my profile and that I was just searching for friends. I always wanted an English friend, in part due to the accent and cultural intrigue.I also doubted, after a while, people really read what I wrote. As forward as his message was (Did he want to hang out with me already?!
"We're not asking you to define what you're interested in." Yet I joined right in creating the user subtext.That said, I was confident friendship was going to be different on the apps.People would be chiller because the relationship stakes were lower. Still, I didn't want to play mind games with my future besties.A woman's profile would show up on my Tinder, and I'd just stare at it.
I couldn't swipe right, partly because of an information shortage, partly because of the guilt I felt misleading the woman in the picture.But I ended up hating them for dating because of their "all or nothing" protocol.