Dating email first
So ladies, I challenge you to find five men this week who might have shown up in a search on Match or have a high percentage rank on Ok Cupid. If you are on Ok Cupid and you have a 95 percent match rating, send an email saying, “Hmm, 95 percent is quite high don’t you think? I have a saying when it comes to online dating, “Don’t wait.
Do you think the computer algorithms could be accurate?
On the other, over 40% of female-to-male first messages , so, as a woman, if you’re writing to a few people who fit your basic demographic the odds are very good you’ll get a response.
Anyhow, all this implies that the average woman’s time is better spent looking for the right people to write to, rather than composing detailed messages.
But when you consider we’re including dudes who send out messages such as:a baseline reply rate of 22% is looking pretty darn great.
(All those were actual first messages, by the way.)Now, our graph clearly shows that in raw terms, it helps guys to write longer messages.
My guess is that he looks at her picture and if she’s his type, he writes back.
Though this post talks in detail about the content of people’s messages on Ok Cupid, all messages have been thoroughly anonymized, with sender and recipient data stripped out. The longer messages I give as examples in this post were actually forwarded to us by their annoyed/amused recipients.
Most women take a passive approach to online dating.
Often we think about the old dating rules, which clearly state men should be the ones to pursue women. I am telling you to toss away your feminine ego and dating rules of the past if you truly want to get more dates and meet the man you could possibly fall in love with.
But when we factor in the Of course, we shouldn’t forget that there’s a certain amount of overhead involved with contacting someone (scanning her profile for common interests, thinking of jokes to make, taking a deep breath, clicking around, and so on).
If we include 5 minutes of forethought, we find that the actual ideal first message length is 200 characters, or 1 minute’s worth of typing for the average writer. Something we learned building Spark Notes, in our pre-Ok Cupid days.A message like that is the online equivalent of a face tattoo. Let’s generate our efficiency table for women: Incredibly enough, the optimal first outreach from a woman to a man is just 50 characters long!